Every single day, even through every single tear, I am able to see ever increasing gifts being giving to me. Every day, I feel more love from people surrounding me, I feel more love from my animals important to me, I feel more love from my body from daily pushing the self. But all those gifts, all those presents will never be enough of a bribe to wash away the pain experienced by the majority of humanity, with much of it being/haven been done in the name of a monotheistic spiritual overlord.

I treasure everything giving to me like a hoarder always searching for one more emotional garage for storage, but the thought of it being given to me, as I daily see the down-trodden effects on the impoverished, the hurt, the pleasant, from the Christian society surrounding me, those gifts will be forever tainted by the color of blood for those peoples that paid for my boxes of pretty paper, ribbons, and bows.

It is outrageous to think that any promise of Heaven, can make up for the rivers of tears being taken by false idols kneeling in pews. I cannot look at any promise of God as true, while looking around and seeing this society littered with broken promises cutting every foot. I cannot trust any authority, any cop, any pig car, claiming “in God we trust” knowing the lie they wear.

The only way for me to feel close to anything religious is to middle-finger the one above, and emotionally follow Jesus’ example of bending down to wash the feet of those spit upon with my ears and empathy. In the end, it is only by washing away, locking the dirt on the soles of the ones being cut into my heart, and praying it never escapes, that I am able to experience a Heaven. To be able watch that that slight and temporary bounce from slightly refreshed feet is what means everything to me in the universe. Should I ever be permanently rewarded for believing in the path showed by the story in red, that is my definition of hell. That washcloth is the greatest gift I have for rising above childhood PTSD that I will never fully comprehend.

God can never erase that dirt. I have been done believing the lies called “promises”. Shunning God is the only way I feel peace and am able to be there for others.

A Biblically Betrayed Duckin’ Kev